I have never been a cook.
I’m the girl who wanted to turn her kitchen into a library.
Can you imagine how cool that would be?
The doors off, books alphabetized, all shiny, new, and they smell like actual books, not an Ipad.
Then I had this great idea.
While I am recreating me, trying to find myself, wouldn’t it be cool to take a few cooking classes? I eat a plant-based diet, and no one in my house cooks, so if I want to be successful on my food plan I gotta cook for myself right?
There is just one problem.
I don’t cook!
I have a degree in burning things.
Ok starting fires…
in the kitchen…
when food is on the stove…
and in the oven…
RIP Thanksgiving Turkey 😦
I have a PHD in food poisoning my new husband right after we were married.
Who knew you had to cook the chicken first!
I can order out better than anyone I know, but cooking?
Oh that’s hilarious!
But what the hey, I beat cancer right?
How hard could this be?
So I signed up for a few cooking classes, and surprisingly I am doing really well, and having a hoot of a time!
In an effort to bring a little sarcasm, laughter, and joy to the few people who care enough to humor me, and follow my blog, I decided to start sharing my homework with you.
Tonight’s homework was from the Essential Vegan Dessert Course on Rouxbe.com.
Essential Vegan Dessert Course
My task was to make Roasted Strawberries, then get creative, and use them in a dish.
I don’t consider myself to be a creative person in the kitchen, so I was a bit nervous.
But I don’t want to fail this course either.
How would that look?
“Woman who KNEW she couldn’t cook, failed cooking course, how did she do it? News at 11”
So I decided to suck it up buttercup, and make the bloody strawberries!
I wanted to make this dish look elegant, and moreish.
Moreish is a term my sexy British hubby taught me, and it means something tastes so good, people want more of it.
I also wanted simple, pretty, and classy. I know this was a tall order for someone like me, so I started thinking about what I like.
I could eat coconut cream all day, I mean literally all day.
I LOVE the stuff!
But the hips don’t lie honey, a calorie is still a calorie, and I started having visions of Shakira singing to me as I burned the coconut cream.
HAHA those who know how to cook are saying, you can’t burn coconut cream.
Oh I can!
So the photo above is what I decided to create.
Roasted Strawberries with Pecan Cream, Candied Pecans, and Balsamic Reduction.
Sounds fancy right?
I’m smart now.
These courses are great for my self-esteem lol
It was my first time hulling a strawberry.
Did you know its kind of like cutting their hair off?
Did I mention I dropped out of beauty school, and went to clown school instead ?
I graduated clown school.
Big surprise huh?
Another time then.
So then, I had a bit of an issue with the balsamic reduction.
Someone knocked on the door, the dogs freaked out, I turned my head for a nano second, and immediately, it was like I had a Mount St. Helens, Balsamic Reduction eruption, all over my stove!
My chihuahua looks at me like…Uh oh Mommies in trouble now!
But, this was so much better than the time I set the Tofurky on fire on Thanksgiving day. I totally considered it a success!
At the end, I decided to be Chef Katyia, and make it look pretty.
My name is Kathleen, but I thought Katyia sounded mysterious.
So I’m Chef Katyia, and I plated the berries, cream and balsamic reduction, and my family stared at it in awe.
Yea I’m kind of a big deal in my house now 😉
Thanks for hanging out with me!