I’ve been hiding a secret but I am now out and proud!
I have battled with life-altering fear for too long and I am DONE!
Fear has robbed me of precious moments in life, stopped me from creating memories, following my dreams and I allowed it by stuffing my feelings, wants, needs and desires so far down that I became a shell of a person, believing I had no talent, no dreams and no passion whatsoever.
I slammed myself, believed no one would ever want to read anything I wrote, all the while, I made sure to pump up my friends & family, pushing them to follow their dreams because I believed in them and wanted to see them happy.
My own child would listen to how I talked to myself and ask me to stop as it was upsetting her.
Isn’t that sad?
We don’t realize that what we say to ourselves affects our children.
They hear it, they take it in and because they love us, they start to wonder if they’re like us.
How’s that for Parenting 101?
What we say to ourselves matters. It affects every mood, everything we do during the day, and how we interact with people.
The truth is, it’s our choice to live our lives fully and follow our dreams or allow fear to consume us and live our lives fearfully.
No guns to our heads, no physical cages, no restrictions.
We were given free will and as awful as fear is, as much as it can consume us, create physical reactions to life’s circumstances and can scare the pants off of us, we are NOT bound or chained and we CAN be set free!
As a Mom, I want to give my kids a solid foundation, not a foundation built on fear, misery or self-hatred!
I can try to instill courage, love and security in them but if they see fear, hatred and pain, they will learn to live it too.
I’ve been scared to fail, scared to succeed, scared to try.
The “What If’s” ran through my head daily.
What if I fail?
What if no one likes me?
What if I embarrass myself?
What if no one reads anything I write?
What if all those things happen? Is it the end of the world?
It’s a life lesson…
One step in the right direction,
One less hurdle to cross.
A chance to be proud and say I did it! I crossed a fear.
And it’s one more thing you never have to do again!
Once you have failed the first time, you will never fail the first time again!
I justified my fear by saying:
“I am a Mom, my family needs me, I have no time for anything else”
My family values me, loves me and wants me to be happy. They would walk over hot coals to get me to follow my dreams and yet every day there was another excuse. I made the excuses, I put things in my way, not them, It was all me!
So today I am coming out of the closet because I am tired of devaluing myself!
I am tired of questioning the gifts God gave me, of hiding the passion and ignoring who I am and what I was born to do.
So as you are reading this blog, this may come as a shock to you but…
I am a WRITER! There I said it. I AM A WRITER!
I have always been a writer; I will always be a WRITER.
I am finally answering the call the Lord has placed on my heart, trusting in his plan for my life. All hearts on deck, no more questions, no more fear. I am all in!
I will give my all to my writing because I believe this gift was given to me for a reason. There are broken hearts and wounded souls who need compassion, love and support and with my life experiences, I know through my words, stories, books, blogs etc. I can give that to them.
I want to become someone I am proud to know and by following Gods plan for my life and stop hiding out in fear, I am on my way to finding that person.
No more hiding, no more retreating back into my closet and locking the door.
This is it, I am out and proud and to prove it I will go a bit farther, even though I am so freaked out right now I want to throw up.
I invite you all to enjoy, like, dislike, ignore or any of the above, a few of my Facebook pages and join me on twitter too.
This is my Recreating Me Inspirational Quote page.
This is my Recreating Me Prayer and Praise Page.
My prayer for you is that you can find the courage to say no to fear, that you can dig deep and realize your life’s passions and who you want to be when you grow up.
Then take a step out, chose to live life fully not fearfully and prove to yourself that you are valuable.
God has a plan for your life, he gave you specific talents for a specific reason and it would be a shame if those talents we’re locked away because of lies you tell yourself.
Don’t let fear win. Step out with me and be proud. Lets recreate our lives together!
Gods abundant blessings,