THIS WARRIOR IS A CHILD!
These last few days have been very hard. It’s been a rough year, many I love have passed away or found out they are fighting the cancer battle, yet again.
As I have prepared to walk in a breast cancer walk this weekend, the loss caught up to me.
The pain of those I love, the illness and death all around me, has brought me to my knees and the tears have flowed.
I am Thankful for Jesus, I am Thankful for his sacrifice and yet I am human and now I am reminded of the humanness and pain of loss.
So as I sit here today, I cherish the healing God has given me.
I realize that this warrior, the one who wants to “recreate me,” the one who wants to share Gods greatest blessings, is just a child.
I am human, he is God and I am not.
I am not perfect, he is.
I am not all-knowing, he is.
I am not the “be all and end all of the world”, he is.
I am just a broken girl, who seeks to share my life, hoping that my pain and story of redemption will bring someone closer to the man who saved my life.. GOD.
There are days when my weakness overcomes me and I cry to the Lord:
“Please take this burden from me.”
Then he tells me: “When you are weak, then you are strong, the less you have, the more you can depend on.”
Still through my tears I burst out: “But the road is so long and my burden is so heavy, Lord you know how weak I am, help me”
Then he replies: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
This warrior is a child.. of God!
I am human, I cry out to him to heal my hurts, to hold me in his arms and never let me go.
I seek him and he finds me!
I find comfort in his promises because God knows my heart, he knows what I’m thinking before I think it, he knows my pain before I cry, he knows my agony because he lived his own.
God knows what I need, when I need it and he decides when he will give it to me.
The courage is in waiting for that blessing to come.
So today I shed tears. Some for those I miss, some for the joy of more time with my amazing family and some for the pain of those who are still suffering.
I know the pain of cancer, the agony it brings and the way it changes families. I cry for those whose lives have been changed by cancer and I pray that God holds them close, brings them peace, healing and comfort.
God blessed me with a heart that feels the pain of others.
There is a reason for it and as much as it hurts I will rejoice in that gift and not deny it.
So I wait on him to heal my heart, wipe my tears and bring me the courage to be all he wants me to be. So I can bring love to those who need love, compassion to those who need understanding and friendship to those who are lost.
Thank you Jesus for never giving up on this broken soul.
Thank you for your blessings, for healing my body and for the life you have given me.
Each moment, good or bad has been a lesson of love and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
© Kathleen Thackham and Recreating me, 2010-2040.