JUDGMENT ~ NOT MY JOB!
Today’s topic has weighed very heavy on my heart this week.
Honestly, I wondered if I should even post it but when something haunts me, there is usually a reason, so I decided to share my thoughts with you.
Most of my life I have wanted to help others but after battling cancer in 2002, I’ve had a very heavy heart for people who are different, those broken, lost souls who have been hurt by others or who may not have gotten the love they needed and so deserved.
Cancer opened my eyes to things I didn’t want to see.
Since then I have had a starring role in the movie titled:
“Judgment: My way or the highway.”
In case you’re unaware, I lost my breasts to cancer.
I wear no implants or prosthesis.
This decision was made for me, not by me.
Trust me, not all Ta Ta’s can be saved.
The pain of losing my breasts to cancer was horrific.
It took me a long time to stop crying, to look in the mirror and not hate what I have become, to wonder if my husband would still love me.
What would my kids think of me? How do I go out in public?
How do I live as a woman in such a judgmental world?
It was enough to feel broken, unworthy and lost, without having people stare and make cruel comments.
People asked me to cover up when in front of them.
One woman offered to make me “bean bag boobs” so “I” would feel
“more like a woman” when in fact, she was uncomfortable looking at me.
People have stared at me, mocked me, pointed at my family, interrupted our meals to gawk and some actually look away when having conversations with me.
Still, I believe that out of every form of hell, comes a new blessing and this journey has been a huge blessing to me.
It has given me a heart transplant. The caring heart that was once there, has grown stronger. It has pushed me to reach out to others and has made me eternally grateful to those who love me and accept me for who I am.
I am Christian and I do not hide my faith.
My friends come from all walks of life.
Some are Jewish, Buddhist and Atheist.
I love and respect them for who they are, as they do me.
Some believe in the Big Bang Theory, I watch the TV show.
I have straight, gay, & bi-sexual friends. Some are NRA members;
I am a COAI Member (Clowns of America Intl.) LOL
Some tattoo their bodies and pierce places I didn’t know could be pierced.
I admire the artwork, secretly wish I had one, then faint at the thought of another needle.
Some refuse to eat meat and will fight to the death to save an animal.
Others will fight to eat the animal.
I have liberal, conservative & moderate friends.
Democrats, Republicans, Green party, Tea Party and all I care about are Birthday Parties.
My little circle of family and friends are unique.
They are so accepting, it’s a beautiful thing.
Still, I see so much judgment and it breaks my heart.
Recently someone told me that life isn’t all butterflies and ice cream.
Life is sometimes messy. He said: “you have to stand for something even if it’s not accepted by others.”
I’m not sure who he thought he was talking to, if anyone knows how “messy” life can be, it’s me. I’m also sure this blog post is not exactly what he had in mind when he said this. LOL
So I ask: When did it become my job to judge?
When did I, or anyone else become so holy that suddenly it’s my right, to say what God’s plan is for anyone?
Who gave me that right?
It’s not mine to keep, I don’t want it, nor will I accept it.
Who are we, to tell people who to be?
Who are we, to tell people how to dress?
What makes me so righteous that I can slur insults at someone because they don’t fit the mold that “I” created?
Someone once asked me how a flower garden would look if all the flowers were gray?
One word: DEAD!
A flower garden is beautiful because of the variations in color, size, shape & smell.
Each flower brings a source of beauty to the garden, each with its own purpose.
We are, who we are.
Too many of our youth and adults are suffering in emotional hell and killing themselves because they don’t fit in with the “normal” crowd.
Why do we work so hard to fit in, when it’s obvious we were born to stand out?
No one should have to endure emotional & physical pain at the hands of another because they are different.
There seems to be this ideal of what is “acceptable” and what isn’t.
Acceptable to who?
GOD is GOD and I am NOT!
Now trust me I’m no bible scholar but some of my favorite verses are these.
John 8:7 “If anyone of you is without sin, let them be the first to throw the stone”
Matthew 25:40 “Whatever you did for the least of my brothers you did for me”
This is not rocket science people.
It’s as easy as a lesson we all learned from our own Mothers.
“Treat others as you would want them to treat you”
I don’t have to like everything someone does but I refuse to judge them for it.
So I am taking a stand!
Judgment is NOT my job!
I know who I am. I know what I believe.
I answer to Jesus. He is the only one who has the right to judge me and on that day, when we pay for all the deeds we have done, I will be ready!
I am not perfect. I make mistakes daily.
I will not please everyone nor do I seek to, but I will do my best to treat everyone with the dignity & respect they deserve as a member of the human race and one of Gods children.
So am I preaching tolerance?
Tolerance for another human being, a beautiful child of God, so they can be who they are, and not what you want them to be.
People deserve to be loved, and as long as I live,
I will love them for who they are, or die trying.
© Kathleen Thackham and Recreating me, 2010-2040.